My Thoughts for Today

A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities.
-- Eda J. Le Shan

So, I've been worrying a lot the last couple of days! I've been wondering if Frank and I can really do this! Can we really bring another being into this world and give it all that it needs and most of what it wants?

I've been worrying about this quite a bit and then I found this quote and I realized that I've been focusing on the wrong things! Instead of focusing on the amount of love that Frank and I, and all of our family and friends will have to give to this baby, I've been focusing on how much money we will have to spend.

Don't get me wrong, I realize the importance of us having some semblance of financial security. But we don't need a Bugaboo stroller or a Pottery Barn nursery; a nanny or a cotillion to raise a child with values, beliefs, hopes and dreams! Regardless of whether they are born with a platinum, gold, silver or plastic spoon in their mouths, every baby is born with the same sense of possibility and hope.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that with God, our family and our friends on our side that maybe, just maybe it's possible that we have all that we need!

Best Christmas Ever!

So, I have to say that this will probably go down in history as one of the best Christmases EVER!!!

Not only did Frank and I finally get our little bean, but we also had the opportunity to share the news with everyone we love! I wish I had a recording of my family's reaction! IT WAS AWESOME!!! All the yelling and screaming and I could have sworn I even heard a round of applause! It was right up there with the 15 minute scream fest of Frank's mom! We just feel so loved and supported!

Even better, I got to spend the first full week of my confirmed pregnancy with my mom and sister! They did such a great job of taking care of me . . . even if I really didn't need it! I have to admit that I was a bit teary-eyed as we drove them to the airport, to go home. It's hard to imagine that they won't be with me everyday of the next 40 weeks!

Actually, it's hard to imagine that most of you won't be here!

Ok . . . back to the happy stuff!

I'm also extremely happy that I get to share my pregnancy with one of my closest friends, Alex, who's pregnant with my Godson! YAY! Not to mention that I also get to share this experience with a very good friend of mine from Chicago, whose name I won't include until I get her permission! And, best of all . . . I get to share my entire pregnancy with my cousin Jacque, whose EDD is a mere 2 weeks before mine! How cool is that?!?! I see TONS of sleepovers in their futures!

Anyway, clearly my life is blessed! I'm truly one of the luckiest girls out there and I feel overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude and just plain old joy!

Thanks for listening!!

The First Ultrasound!

OK . . . there may not be much to see, but there's enough! My mom said that it looks just like I did as a little embryo!

The doctor said that everything is right where it should be and that we should here the heartbeat in about two weeks!!

This post is dedicated to my sister, without whom I wouldn't have a picture to post! Thank you!

Morning Sickness . . . at Nine O'Clock at Night!

So, I finally had my first battle with morning sickness . . . at nine o'clock at night!

I woke up from a nap and felt insanely dizzy and nauseous. My sister tried to help me by giving me water and sprite and I could barely swallow a drop! Thankfully after sitting (and laying) it out for about a half an hour I felt much better! Thank goodness! It wasn't very fun!

I have to admit that I was a little bit relieved! After obsessing over whether or not I would have a normal and healthy pregnancy for the last few days, it was nice to experience such a classic symptom!

Reflections - Month 1

I started thinking I might be pregnant when:

I took my first home pregnancy test and there was a very faint line. . . after all a line is a line right?

I found out I was pregnant when:
Being as neurotic as I am, I bought test after test (First Response Early Result, Internet Cheapies, Clear Blue Easy Digital) and I used every single one of them! From Saturday through Monday morning, I probably tested about 10 times! We stared at the lines, analyzing the darkness, took pictures and analyzed larger pictures on the computer, compared the pictures to others on various websites. With every test and every faint line I became more and more convinced (as did Alex and Jessica)! But Frank was a definite hold out! He needed to hear it from the doctor's mouth! For that reason, I tried to barge my way into our Doc's office on Monday, to no avail, as my nurse said it was still "too early!" We had to wait until Wednesday! So Tuesday night I took my first digital and within 30 seconds we got a "PREGNANT"!!! I showed Frank and he kept swiffering! hahaha . . . But he definitely started to believe then! Wednesday morning, I went to my Doc's office for a blood test and that afternoon it was confirmed!

I felt:
Well first you need to realize just how long it took us to get to this point! This cycle was our one year anniversary of trying, which included 7 cycles of constant doctor appointments, daily shots, pills, blood tests, etc.

Oddly enough, the first thing that I felt was that it was meant to happen just when it happened! That there couldn't have been a more perfect time for us to finally get our BFP (Big Fat Positive for those who don't know)!

We felt ecstatic, nervous, relieved, scared, overwhelmed, re and blessed . . . definitely blessed!

Our baby will be born:
Late August 2008! We don't have an actual EDD yet! But we'll let you know as soon as we do!

The strangest symptom of pregnancy I had this month was:
Believe it or not I'm even MORE moody and sensitive than I was before! Example, I burst into tears and had a minor breakdown making a pot of pasta! Something I do all the time! I also burst into tears while watching an episode of 90210 . . . it was the one where Valerie moves away, so I guess it wasn't too unreasonable to cry!

My hopes:
That we will have a happy and healthy nine months! That we can give our child an equally awesome childhood as I had! I loved being a kid and I want my child to have that same childlike freedom that I enjoyed. There are so many hopes and dreams to share! It may take me a while to get them all out!

My fears:
I have to admit that right now I'm totally freaked about whether this is real or not! I'm so used to being at the doctor's office every other day. . . to take a week off, without them monitoring my levels and doing daily ultrasounds, is really stressful to me! We've waited for this for so long and worked so hard for it, we just want everything to go smoothly from this point on!